Wouldn't you? Can you tthan please explain this? Truth-seekers are never popular. Go to a therapist if you think it could help you work through why this has appealed so much. Except with other truth-seekers. My opinion, fwiw, is that what you did was not that bad. How do I get rid of this guilt feeling of kissing a guy when I was In fact, you dont even have to tell your partner what you did because it was an innocent kiss. It's not just a guy thing anymore,women are in it too. Hi Scope! NOT telling your partner is not protecting your partner and your marriage, it's self-protection against having to do the work called, Atonement, so you can ignore likeminded proponents whose choice from the excuses menu is that (yawn) telling your partner is a selfish act geared towards offloading some of the guilt when actually, perfectly logically, if the marriage is half theirs then so is the responsibility over the fact it degenerated to that point in the first place (excluding the choice-of-unilateral-action part, obviously)because that's how it works. This thread has expired - why not start your own? I spent the next day in bed all day crying and it has to be one of the saddest days of my life. Have a happy day every one. I don't know why I need that so much, but I do. Slaying suspect pleads guilty | News, Sports, Jobs - Altoona Mirror Other than that, I've said everything that needs saying soyou lot carry on if you want, but I'm sat back, counting the money. Relationships are about trust, first and foremost. focus on you and your DH. What if your husband ever found out? I knew you liked him/her. If you kissed someone while you were drunk then perhaps you are worried about doing it again. Lol I love you already. A guy bought me drinks and he asked me if I wanted to ride his motorcycle to another bar and I did. VerticalScope Inc., 111 Peter Street, Suite 600, Toronto, Ontario, M5V 2H1, Canada. For starters, you've no way of knowing whether this other woman *was* genuinely asleep or whether she might gossip to someone who goes and gossips to someone else, etc.. Plus, you don't know what this bloke might choose to do or whom he might blurt it out to the next time he gets drunk (back and forth male posturing on a lads' night out, for example)! Come join the discussion about love, romance, health, behavior, conflict resolution, care, and more! If you kissed someone while you were drunk then perhaps you are worried about doing it again. When my husband came home, he could tell right away that I had been drinking. Press J to jump to the feed. Maybe you didnt deliberately set out to kiss him or her, but you feel guilty about the kiss because you realize you always wanted to kiss that person, but were afraid to kiss because you harbored hidden feelings for that person. My libido is sharper when Im sober, at least if Im really attracted to a guy and have the love goggles on. i cried for days on and my bf couldnt figure out was . So many arguments begin because our partners got drunk and kissed someone else while they were under the influence of alcohol. Is Flirting Cheating? 5 Signs That It Is - Psych Central When the night was over one of the women said we could go back to hers for drinks, and I was happy to go. So as far I doing it wrong I wouldn't know. I think your just another female using your man until a better option comes along your husband should dump you because one of these days your going dump him if he doesnt. You do risk upset feelings as a consequence. I'm not going to let that or any insulting aspersions, subtle or otherwise, put me off. Certainly, that's what I myself meant and expected you to quote Bienne as more or less echoing. Bad things happen.Yes.but wat i d recomnd u is NEVER EVER tell him ! That's a long time for kissing. 5. It's not that big of a deal anyway and you aren't going to do it again. When Having A Crush While In A Relationship Is OK (And When - HuffPost You were drunk and you kissed - One of those long young people type kisses too . I've gone to a couple thread's here recently. He has morals. I knew this was wrong but my brain wasn't working properly. Turning off notifications, deleting messages, and hiding chat apps may all indicate secrecy. I also could not fathom if you were ACTUALLY being serious or just having a laugh at her expense..alone in your tracky bottoms in your living room. But you can control whether you nurture the crush or acknowledge it and move on. A couple of nights ago I went out to a work function. It sounds simple, but if you think you know how to apologize effectively, you are likely wrong. All of sudden my guy friend stopped texting me good morning and good night Im a guy and i had sex with my guy bestfriend drunk. Since he felt there was an attraction with you two. Scopes: okay, although the whole point of forums is [1] that they're anonymous and [2] people's problems aren't ever remotely unique enough for the poster not to potentially be literally from anywhere in the world thus unidentifiable. "but the fact I work with this person and have to continue to work with him. " Assistir Chelsea X Leeds - Ao Vivo Grtis HD sem travar, sem anncios. I had text my husband so he knew where I was and that was ok. If he forgave you, then it sounds like he accepted that it was a mistake, that you won't do it again and has moved on. Is kissing someone else when drunk cheating? What is he supposed to do with this information? No, if it's sensible debate, based on *facts* rather than wishful thinking, that's fine. I guess kissing another when married, with or without the other knowing about it is a sore subject. Just my thoughts having been a victim of cheating. Despite their passion during the kiss. My piano instructor came over once a week, usually on a Saturday when my husband was home. A few people here will recommend MC but it really depends on what you can tolerate. I said to my husband, I have something to tell you, but I dont know how to say it.. Buster was in law school Buster Murdaugh, left, and his girlfriend Brooklynn White watch a video clip from Buster's brother Paul's phone in the double murder trial of Alex Murdaugh at the Colleton . Loyal Girl sorry to hear about your situation. I gave up playing tennis with him. - GET THE FUCK OUT. I'm going to be the best wife I can be going forward. Have another little thinkipoos (with or without a little drinkipoos). He also sent me a mean text that said for me to go f myself and to stay away from him. I believe that its a good thing to fess up when kissing someone you care about when you drank too much could threaten your existing relationship. Biological ones. Be the adult here. Needing to hear this guy tell you it was OK- It was not OK. If, on the other hand, you kissed someone whom you knew or someone your significant other believes youve always liked, and then you confess that you kissed him or her, your actions could have major consequences for your relationship Why? Im more than competent at the piano myself, but this guy was amazing. I was enjoying myself and loving the chats and laughs. Ive told her Im sorry, I wont let it happen again and Im sorry for being dishonest. And now you - who finds trust difficult - have been tempted to do your OWN test (already commencedwhilst drunk), approached via the psychological end. Yup. Yes Im addiction there are things called SUDs.. He's a nice guy and we get on, but I don't know how I'm gonna face him talk about normal work things. I made it explicit to my girlfriend that I can only function in an extremely honest and all-cards-on-the-table relationship. Kissing After Divorce: Can You Handle It? - Divorced Girl Smiling By clicking 'Submit' or otherwise submitting this form you agree to the, By entering this site you declare Three women and one guy went back. After all she did say that the kiss lasted for maybe 5 minutes. Boyfriend kissed another guy at a gay bar with me for my fantasy, i He's a work colleague by the way, and we would get on well in work but have no contact outside of work). The guilt may be strong because you doubt yourself right now and were surprised by your actions. You're the worst! I hadn't been out drinking for about 3 months beforehand, so think the excitement of the night, constant glasses prosecco and wine, and the buzz of just being all dolled up all mixed together to see me very giddy and tipsy. But you sounded like you were willing to take it farther with him,and risk it all. I'll still cross over with him at times, but it will be minimal. Well, then, let me enlighten you. If he is like me, its a choice. Just trying to keep the pot stirred,the fire burning. I love him so much and feel totally ashamed at what happened over the weekend in what was a drunken moment at at a party.I got drunk and kissed another boy. The problem is soulmate if I mentioned some of the things that happened in another in another thread. Why would you want to do that? We were not drunk. The marriage itself trying to keep his father and the community happy, and just get my husband to consider the rest of the job force he worked in and the many his wants would affect with UAW seniority for a big three auto plant. I was dumped.so why do *I* feel guilty? I felt sick! I also agree with SUSIEDQQ that is won't be the worse thing that will ever happen to her or her marriage. I have posted a vent and been waiting for your scathing reply. Oh, and FYI again: so drunk I didn't know what I was doing tends NOT to be so plugged-in she 5 minutes beforehand notices the sleeping other person needs a blankie and a tucking-in. A certain someone might read it. JavaScript is disabled. the guy has a long term girlfriend who he lives with and he said she was really angry with him for coming home so late, then he said, look, I think we're good people that completely lost our minds for 5 minutes, and are suffering major guilt for it now, but it will never ever happen again, and I'm not going to say a word to anyone' to which I replied 'neither am I' and he said 'ok, look I'll see you on Monday but this is going to be ok, don't worry, we can move on from this' Visit my website and follow me on Twitter @GuyWinch. But for me, it was. Its more like an excuse for cheating. "and though he immediately pulled away". Social media, the Internet, texting and so on. (By the way, dwahling, am loving your tu-tu and Toys R Us tiara! 2023 FemaleFirst Ltd. all rights reserved. Lead to or gateway to, I guess there's a difference. I'm asking myself all sorts of questions like did I like him, is that why I did it? SOULMATE NO URGE :-8 I'm sensing nose in the air LOL You must see The Grand Canyon, New York- Theater/Art so much raw talent, I know I cheated for sure, and thats why I had to confess to my husband that I did it. The other day, I had a first with my partner Flo: I put my tongue in another mans mouth while he stood by only to observe. Later, I spoke to my fianc and he told me he loved me and was sorry. When we got there the drinks flowed again , and more laughter and story telling. female Don't feel guilty because you are a mom (or dad) and you feel like you need to be spending time with them. We kissed for maybe 5 minutes, or maybe less, I don't know. Remind her of your good points. (Y)), Hey its really grtt to hear tht u really care n lot of emotion for ur hubbyv only come to kno abt our loyalty only when things like this happens.u kissed him thn u realised that u hv done mistake bcoz u really love ur hubby n dnt want to cheat him.but since commuting mistakes is a part of human nature n being human it happened but determined urself for not to continue or commit such mistake is the real proof of being loyal. Yes, I think if your boyfriend thinks his girl or boy or whatever is gonna be loyal to them even under the influence. Yes, that's what I was going to advise - that you two continue any discussion on LG's own thread. If I ws on ur place I would never have told him because he loves me so much and respect me so much and really trust me like anything and if you are guilty and try to relieve ur guilt by telling him still doesn't prove to be beneficial for you and other than that it creates a doubt in his heart that would be very mych lowering The respect he has in his heart for you. "Sadly, many people who have a crush on someone else purposely get drunk ". A relationship with a man is supposed to be specifically platonic, says YouTuber David Godinez, while filmmaker James Rath says that men are told not to be physically intimate. The 2 Most Psychologically Incisive Films of 2022, The Surprising Role of Empathy in Traumatic Bonding. I really have a problem believing but forgave her and weve been together another 20 yrs now and have 15 grand children hasnt ever really bothered me but about 3 yrs ago it hit me like of bolt of lightning out of nowhere and I cant get that night out of my mind, keep obsessing over what they might have done and how they spent the 4 or 5 hours that they were together outside the venue that night. I am biased and do hold strong views because my XH cheated. I myself have had issues in the past months but I won't elaborate. I read or heard somewhere that the only good thing that comes of guilt is to prevent you from doing it again. If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. My SO and I had been dating two years. Again - your choice. It's not worth the headaches, nausea, acid reflux, stomach pain, or insomnia you may be experiencing. We were going through an awkward time in the relationship and I was craving the attention and simplicity of this guy. That is what separates the women from the girls. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. in my opinion I don't see why you would feel guilty you did nothing . Even so, you might find that you are still attracted to other people. This recently happened to me. Becoz misunderstanding happn somtym and do miracles/ And ya most imp if u both want kids u shud adopt one. I am deeply shocked this has happened and I don't know who to turn to for help. This post is probably the most intelligent and insightful posts Ive seen on this site. No matter how much we insist that "it's all good, bro, we're like, totally homies!", we don't mean it, not really. this guy only tried to kiss you so as far as you cheating on him there is no and your appropriate response was toback away and leave the guy standing. For your information, I have only the *one* bottom and and it doesn't ever tend to leave tracks (- speak for yerself!) I was drunk on Friday night and I kissed another guy. I practise what I preach, me. I have to be honest, I have never once had the urge to visit America. IAMHIM (person claiming to be an unregistered passer-by), SOULMATE (moderator), is this seriously your job? The straight women in the girls-french kiss-girls videowere all shocked at how gentle and non-aggressive female kissers were, in comparison to guys. In essence . Not just, here's your marriage license good luck. Now, four years later, I am feeling extreme guilt to the point that it is making me sick and consuming thoughts every minute of the day. I made that call today and will move from lates to early starting Monday 16th feb. Again I could go on with this subject,and I undoubtedly will. I thanked him for telling me this and we didnt speak to one another for years. But now he has begun university and I trust him with everything but I keep thinking of what I did. You wanna tell your husband? I was nervous and prayed nothing would happen but it did. Now that you got drunk, you feel justified in kissing that person because you got drunk and couldnt help yourself. However from what I've read passionate kissing lead to touching, petting,etc. If you think that straight guys are too macho to experiment with same-sex kissing, then yourewrong. Generally people dont care when it happens with others but when it happens with them, they may react very differently because human are emotional creatures. He was so drunk himself that he started singing I Love Paris and, in the middle of the song, he said in a gruff voice, You wanna kiss me? You have a number of choices in terms of how to deal with what happened. The straight women in the girls-french kiss-girls video were all shocked at how gentle and 'non-aggressive' female kissers were, in comparison to guys. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. Just, why leave yourself open if you don't have to. 3 Ways to Keep Guilt From Ruining Your Relationships Pointer much appreciated, though. "I'm not sure if you are trying to be helpful, or just entertaining yourself with your responses." in all the years we are together I have never ever done anything like this before, and I can say with confidence I will never allow myself to end up in any situation that could lead to anything even close to this again. reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): Already have an account? I am sure this girl knows he is married. We all should know by now that alcohol affects our judgment and that it can make us less inhibited and cause us to behave in ways in which we never would behave while sober. 507 views, 8 likes, 5 loves, 10 comments, 6 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Scrittori a domicilio: Mattia Insolia, Cieli in fiamme (Mondadori) con. This feels huge to me. Sorry Soulmate I know I need to stop,but it's hard to. The short answer to your question, for this BPD is: No, I don't feel guilty. I didnt blame the alcohol because I knew I had feelings for my piano teacher, and I didnt want to pretend the feelings didnt exist. Though somehow I think there might have been trouble in the marriage. Okay if it was me who did that even thou I dont drink Ill first ask him as if its someone else who did it, like a friend or a colleague and if he overracts then think again but if hes all cool about it then break ice. If he is nervous at you looking at his messages and also refuses to tell you who she is, he is hiding quite alot. I had a kind of aha reaction because I realized I was attracted to him. And the tricky piece de resistance What!! I mean if a person can't rely on their own strength of character and self-discipline to stop them from crossing that line, they obviously NEED an outside deterrent. I came home and we resolved it and ever since everything has been fine. Add your answer to this question! Many people who get drunk become more amorous, and if our significant others arent with us at the time of our drinking binge, we might be inclined to kiss or even have sex with someone else because were not playing with a full deck when were drunk. I've been cheated on just recently and I cannot imagine how awful it would be if he didn't own up and tell me. HIKARI, you can't take up an obsolete thread as your own, no matter any similarities, so if you want feedback and advice it's best to start a new one (and copy and paste that post into it as your opening post), okay? For me, to feel guilty about having sex with someone, while in a relationship with someone else, I must have remorse. And yes I do still believe either directly or indirectly, mouth to mouth, tongue swapping French kissing caressing lead to sex. PostedNovember 9, 2014 I went to a party with friends last night and I kissed someone.. Anon Pink, 20 ways to speak Love & Admiration to our husbands. He cared less what families they belonged to if they worked in the same positions, they had the same contract rules to follow. I have never done anything like this before and truly would never again. One day, he came over with a bottle of whisky and he had already been drinking. If you kissed a stranger while you were drunk, dont worry about it. Hubby had a similar experience when we were in our first year - with his ex. Wife of 8 years straddled and flirted with my friend last night while drunk My Girlfriend Kissed Another Guy whilst Black-Out Drunk. Asked how the kiss was, Brodieeven says: It wasnt bad, its actually better than a few of my exes. See what she has to say. Take action instead of ruminating in guilt. I'm sure you'll survive if you don't tell him and I'm certain that he doesn't need to know. ;-)), Back too Ya My Sistah from another mother!! I'm dating this guy and have been for about 2 months. My girlfriend(Cintia), me and my best friends girlfriend (called Mercy). I'm married, but kissed another man - PeoplesProblems.org When he finally called me up, he said that he needed to stay away from me, much as he enjoyed teaching me music, he felt that the next time we met, things could get even worse and he didnt want to destroy my marriage. You mentioned foreplay as being the main gate. Years after my divorce the one thing that still makes me really angry is that my XH should have ended the marriage as thats what he wanted. When we went to bed that night, I started crying because I realized what had happened and I felt confused and guilty all at the same time. I am heartbroken but told him I understand that I couldnt be with someone who doesnt trust me. NO don't actually make it easy for him to have ANY KIND OF RELATIONSHIP with this woman!!!! Wow! Why? Reviewed by Gary Drevitch. . like, by not investing his heart too much via (wait for it) an optimum amount of kisses and cuddles, etc? I noticed him kinda touching my hand a bit but I didn't pull away. Guilt protects our relationships. I didnt hear from my piano teacher for at least two weeks after that. Good luck. On which note - "Marriage is about trust not tryst": I like that saying. But, listen, I don't want to turn this thread into a general chit-chat one. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! For the last two years have read a lot about infidelity. Are you dreaming about another man? Here's what it really means Weve probably all known silly drunks, mean drunks and people who simply couldnt hold their liquor and vomited all over the place. I love your stories, Foxie. It's not fair they didn't ask for it. If it were me, I would contact her, & let her know that I didn't appreciate her actions. 14 Effective Ways To Get Over The Guilt Of Cheating - A Conscious Rethink Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended! [3] you couldn't extend to him the same courtesy he'd already extended to *you* (i.e. I reassured my husband that this would never happen again and that I was sorry. We may share information about your use of our site with trusted advertising and analytics partners. In Jung's theory, the anima makes up the totality of the unconscious feminine psychological qualities that a man possesses and the animus the masculine ones possessed by a woman. Wow, you really do want a baby, don't you. The planet won't stop revolving around the Sun if you don't tell him.